Plastic Surgery Disasters

  East Bay Ray- Guitar

  Klaus Flouride- Bass, Vocals, and clarinet

  D.H. Peligro- Drums

  Jello Biafra- Vocals

  

  Virus 27 Alternative Tentacles

  1982

Government Flu

"Why are you such a stupid asshole? Would you really like to know? Well, pay a fee, remove your clothes and the vet will show you how. You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey. Be cheerful, fit in, or someone might think you’re wierd. Life can be perfect, people can be trusted, someday I will fall in love and have a nice quiet home of my very own, free from all pain, happy and having fun all the time. But it never happened did it?" We got a drug

We're gonna try it out on you

Won't make you die

It'll getcha just a little bit sick

(chorus)

Got a head cold

Got a chest cold

And it's three days old

(Goin' on forever)

Make you hazy

Make you lazy

Drive you crazy

For days and days and days and days

And years

Barely got the time now

To stay on the job

Double up the dosage in your water supply

Make you even sicker 'til you're slippin' away

Getting all depressed

It's getting all your friends

You can't get up

For nothing that'll rock the boat

The Government Flu

Slip it abroad

Keep a-slowin' down the USSR

But meanwhile

We'll keep an eye

On what it's doin' to you

(chorus)

Got a head cold

Got a chest cold

And it's three days old

(Goin' on forever)

Make you hazy

Make you lazy

Drive you crazy

For days and days and days and days and days

And days and days and days and days and days

And years

The Government Flu

Flew

Through

You

Terminal Preppie

I go to college

That makes me so cool

I live in a dorm

And show off by the pool

I join the right clubs

Just to make an impression

I block out thinking

It won't get me ahead

My ambition in life

Is to look good on paper

All I want is a slot

In some big corporation

John Belushi's my hero

I Lampoon and ape him

My news of the world

Comes from Sports Illustrated

I'm proud of my trophies

Like my empty beer cans

Stacked in rows up the wall

To impress all my friends

No, I'm not here to learn

I just want to get drunk

And major in business

And be taught how to fuck

Win! Win!

I always play to win

Wanna fit in like a cog

In the faceless machine

(chorus)

I'm a terminal terminal terminal preppie

Terminal terminal terminal preppie

Terminal terminal terminal terminal

I want a wife with tits

Who just smiles all the time

In my centerfold world

Filled with Springsteen and wine

Some day I'll have power

Some day I'll have boats

A tract in some suburb

With Thanksgivings to host

(chorus)

I'm a terminal terminal terminal preppie

Terminal terminal terminal preppie

Trust Your Mechanic

TV invents a disease

You think you have

So you buy our drugs

And soon you depend on them

Pain is in your mind

Gotcha commin' back for more

Again and again and again and again

Gonna rip you off

Rip you off

Doctor says you need surgery now

Feelin' good 'til the side effects

Fuck up something else

You're ensnared by the medicine man

Paying up the ass

Again and again

Gonna rip you off

Trust your mechanic to mend your car

Bring it in to his garage

He tightens and loosens a few spare parts

One thing's fixed, another falls apart

And the rich eat you

A magazine says your face don't look quite right

Unless you wear our brand new wonder creme tonight

Never look right again

Unless you grease your skin

Again and again and again and again

Gonna rip you off

Told you're depressed

So of course you see the psychiatrist

Right when you reach your neuroses' roots

He confuses you

He fucks your head up worse

Gotcha feelin' helpless

You're comin' back for more

Again and again

Gonna rip you off

Rip you off

Trust your mechanic

To make you well

You're seeing an awful lot of him now

The quicker he makes your life fall apart

The more money you put in his pockets

Trust your mechanic

To plug your holes

Trust him to make more

Somewhere else

Trust your mechanic

He'll always come through

And rip you off

Well Paid Scientist

You're a well paid scientist

You only talk in facts

You know you're always right

'Cause you know how to prove it

Step by step

A PhD to show you're smart

With textbook formulas

But you're used up

Just like a factory hand

(chorus)

Something is wrong here

You won't find it on a shelf

You're well paid

You're well trained

You're tied to a rack

Company cocktails - gotta go

Say the right thing

Don't fidget, jockey for position

Be polite

In the pyramid you hate

Sip that scotch

Get that raise

This ain't no party at all

(chorus)

Cringe and tense up

Grind your teeth

And wipe your sweaty palms

Close your windows driving past

The low life company bar

They're making fun of you

Ahhh

Even you

You've gotta punch the clock

Too scared to punch your boss

When will you crack

When will you open your eyes

Pull up to your sterile home

You're drained

Bite the heads off of your kids

Chew them well, they taste like you

Just slam the door

Assigned here cause your company owns the land

All your colleagues live here too

Private guards in golf carts

Keep you safe at home?

(chorus)

When will you crack

The dark shattered underbelly

Of the American dream

Avoid it like the plague

It stares you from the bathroom mirror

Drown

Buzzbomb

Buzzbomb buzzbomb

Macho-mobile

The road's my slave

That's how I feel

I cruise alone

I cruise real far

I don't love you

I love my car

'Cross Nevada

At 110

Highway 50

And there's nobody there

Sign says, "Next sign 30 miles"

I work all week, each penny saved

Buys more escape from my home

I'd rather cruise around all day

Than save up for a move

Plow through rest area san-o-lets

Splat! goes the lonely salesman

Wanking in the men's room

Buzzbomb buzzbomb

Tape up loud

Blue piss clinging to my windshield

Faster faster in my car

Buzzbomb is my pride and joy

King of the trailer court

Waiting for the perfect chick

Who'll love me for my car

I tell her why I'm cool

She coos back just what I like

When I pretend she's near

Zip through Ely

Where Pat Nixon was born

The cops 'round here sure looking bored

Flashing sirens - State Patrol

They're scratching up my gorgeous paint job

Shooting at my tires

Ain't no way to go to heaven

Buzzbomb cornered at the 7-11

Forest Fire

No junk food, just earthly goods

I ate weird berries in the woods

Now I'm seeing colors, I'm getting higher

I think I'll start a forest fire

There's a forest fire climbin' the hill

Burnin' wealthy California homes

Better run run run run run

From the fire

But some of us stay and watch

And we think of your insurance cost

And we laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

At your lives

Windows covered with bars

Security guards

Is that a house or a fortress

Against the world

Windows covered with bars

Security guards

Is that a house or a prison

How you gonna get out?

Electric bull and your tennis courts

Pink sports cars and your boat

Getting fried fried fried fried fried fried

By the fire

Windows covered by bars

Floodlights for the yard

It's a pleasure to watch you

Watch it all melt

But hey!

What about the cocaine

Stockpiled in the basement

Be a hero and save it

You know you're gonna need it

Where's your brand new pretty wife

She might still be inside

Either save her or your cocaine from the fire

But the gates and doors are locked

Cause the burglar alarms went off

Ever wonder why we laugh laugh

At your lives

Windows covered with bars

Fences spiked with barbed wire

Never looked so helpless

Engulfed in flames

Cameras watchin' the walls

Don't forget the dogs

Now you're trapped in your prison

How you gonna get out

See the gerbil

Run run run run run run run run

From the fire

Halloween

So it's Halloween

And you feel like dancin'

And you feel like shinin'

And you feel like letting loose

Whatcha gonna be?

Babe, you better know

And you better plan

Better plan all day

Better plan all week

Better plan all month

Better plan all year

You're dressed up like a clown

Putting on your act

It's the only time all year

You'll ever admit that

I can see your eyes

I can see your brain

Baby nothing's changed

(repeat)

You're still hiding in a mask

You take your fun seriously

No, don't blow this year's chance

Tomorrow your mold goes back on

After Halloween

You go to work today

You'll go to work tomorrow

Shitfaced tonight

You'll brag about it for months

Remember what I did

Remember what I was

Back on Halloween

But what's in between?

Where are your ideas?

You sit around and dream

For next Halloween

Why not everyday?

Are you so afraid

What will people say

(repeat)

After Halloween

Because your roll is planned for you

There's nothing you can do

But stop and think it through

But what will your boss say to you

And what will your girlfriend say to you

And what will people out on the street they might glare at you

And whadya know? You're pretty self-conscious too

So you run back and stuff yourselves in rigid business costumes

Only at night to score is your leather uniform exhumed

Why don't you take your social regulations

And shove 'em up your ass

Winnebago Warrior

Roughin' it in the great outdoors

Guidebooks tell us where to go

Winnebego Warrior

Slow down traffic climbing hills

30 gallons to the mile

Honey, quick, the Polaroid

(chorus)

Winnebago Warrior

Brave as old John Wayne

Winnebago Warrior

A true yankee pioneer

Stop at Stuckey's for a meal

Blab all day on the CB

Winnebago Warrior

Littered campgrounds, folding chairs

Feed Doritos to the bears

Honey, quick, the Polaroid

(chorus)

Kill some fish down by the creek

Hang their picture by the sink

Show your grandson who's the boss

Tie your two tote-goats to the fronts

U-haul trailer full of souvenirs

That you buy along the way

Riot

Rioting - the unbeatable high

Adrenaline shoots your nerves to the sky

Everyone knows this town is gonna blow

And it's all gonna blow right now...

Now you can smash all the windows that you want

All you need are some friends and a rock

Throwing a brick never felt so damn good

Smash some more glass

Scream with a laugh

And wallow with the crowd

Watch them kicking peoples' ass

But you get to the place

Where the real slavedrivers live

It's walled off by the riot squad

Aiming guns right at your head

So you turn right around

And play right into their hands

And set your own neighborhood

Burning to the ground instead

(chorus)

Riot - the unbeatable high

Riot - shoots your nerves to the sky

Riot - playing into their hands

Tomorrow you're homeless

Tonight it's a blast

Get your kicks in quick

They're calling' the National Guard

Now could be your only chance

To torch a police car

Climb the roof, kick the siren in

And jump and yelp for joy

Quickly - dive back in the crowd

Slip away, now don't get caught

Let's loot the spiffy Hi-Fi Store

Grab as much as you can hold

Pray your arms won't fall off

Here comes the owner with a gun

(chorus)

The barricades spring up from nowhere

Cops in helmets line the lines

Shotguns prod into your bellies

The trigger fingers want an excuse

now

The raging mob has lost its nerve

There's more of us but who goes first

No one dares to cross the line

The cops know that they've won

It's all over but not quite

The pigs have just begun to fight

They club your heads, kick your teeth

Police can riot all they please

(chorus)

Tomorrow you're homeless

Tonight it's a blast

Bleed for Me

You've been hanging 'round

With an enemy of the state

Come with me to the building

That no one stops to watch

(chorus)

C'mon bleed

Bleed for me

We'll strap you to a pipe

Electrodes on your balls

C'mon scream

C'mon writhe

Face down in a pool of piss

(chorus)

In the name of world peace

In the name of world profits

America pumps up our secret police

America wants fuel

To get it, it needs puppets

So what's ten million dead?

If it's keeping out the Russians

We're well trained by the CIA

With Yankee tax money in Ft. Bragg

The Peace Corps builds us labor camps

When they think they're building schools

Hah

When cowboy Ronnie comes to town

Forks out his tongue at Human rights

Sit down enjoy our ethnic meal

Dine on some charbroiled nuns

Try a medal on...

Smile at the mirror as the cameras click

And make big business happy

Anytime

Anywhere

Maybe you'll just disappear

(chorus)

I am the Owl

I am your plumber

No I never went away

I still bug your bedrooms

And pick up everything you say

It can be a boring job

To monitor all day your excess talk

I hear when you're drinking

And cheating on your lonely wife

I play tape recordings

Of you to my friends at night

We've got our girl in bed with you

You're on candid camera

We just unelected you

(chorus)

I am the owl

I seek out the fowl

Wipe 'em away

Keep America free

For clean living' folks like me

If you demonstrate

Against somebody we like

I'll slip on a wig

And see if I can start a riot

Transform you to an angry mob

All your leaders go to jail for my job

But we aren't the Russians

Political trials are taboo

We've got our secret

Ways of getting rid of you

Fill you full of LSD

Turn you loose on a freeway

(chorus)

Send you spinning

Send you spinning all over the freeway

Spinning on the crowded freeway

Spinning on the freeway

Spin...

Spin - Lookout

The Press, they never even cared

Why a youth leader walked into a speeding car

In ten years we'll leek the truth

By then it's only so much paper

Watergate hurt

But nothing really ever changed

A teeny bit quieter

But we still play our little games

We still play our little games

We still play a lot of games

I am the owl

(chorus)

Dead End

Once I had a close friend

I knew him for quite a while

He seemed all right to me

We had this deal together

Tied up my money and time

And then he went away

Taking all that was mine

(chorus)

Oh, well, things crumble to an end

Hell, we all die in the end

Die in the end

Once it was fun to worry

About who was in control

Could look into the future

But now it don't seem right

Passion is filling the air

Profits and better than life

And things are harder to beat

(chorus)

It's a dead end

Dead end

Once I had a lover

I knew her for quite a while

She seemed all right to me

But then she was gone

She took my loving' and my time

Taking all that was mine

And leaving me far behind

(chorus)

It's a dead end

Dead end

Moon Over Marin

The crowded future stings my eyes

I still find time to exercise

In uniform with two white stripes

Unlock my section of the sand

It's fenced off to the waters edge

I clamp a gasmask on my head

(chorus)

On my beach at night

Bathe in my moonlight

Another tanker's hit the rocks

Abandoned to spill out its guts

The sand is laced with sticky glops

O'Shimmering moonlight sheen upon

The waves and water clogged with oil

White gassed steam up from the soil

(chorus)

I squash dead fish between my toes

Try not to step on any bones

I turn around and I go home

I slip back through my basement door

Switch off all the I own below

Dive in my scalding wooden tub

My own beach at night

Electric moonlight

There will always be a moon

Over Marin

"There, wasn’t that a nice visit? Don’t forget, a psychiatrist is on duty 24 hours a day in the blue room, Just up from the parking garage. Drink plenty of water when you take these. Now you can relax and return to your job."

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